#MeToo

MeToo

This is a story she thought she could never write about her childhood,  but decided it could be cathartic ..

As a small child, the very man who she trusted and loved, did the inconceivable ..

She protected herself by tucking it away in the deepest recesses of her mind. She erased it and psychologically buried it the best she knew how.

UNTIL..

Her sister called and said she was in counseling and was about to confront our abuser..

It was as though the flood gates of hell had been unlocked and all those neatly stored memories came rushing and careening out from the depths of darkness.. 

She didn’t want to remember and she couldn’t believe how she protected herself from the horrid memories she had buried so many years ago.

She has since read and heard that this was common with someone who did not want to deal with  heartbreak and ugly images..

Even now, as an older woman, the scenes of those moments haunt her memories.

Unfortunately, the derelict memories ruined an intimate relationship she had had with her husband.  It had stunted  what was suppose to be beautiful union between a man and a woman ..

She related the pleasure between them as something unnatural because in her mind, she was that little girl who didn’t know what was happening.

Still thinking in terms of being horrified and unforgettable ..

She thankfully married a loving man who stayed with her, and tried to help her through the darkness..

He was devastated because that part of their life could never be.. 

She thanks God for this man.  He  is  her soulmate and they have  kept what remained of the beautiful relationship they had as husband and wife.

As difficult as it has been,  they are still deeply in love..

She has never been able to forgive her abuser and to this day has not missed him after his death.  It was as though he was never a part of her life, yet he was ..

Patsy McNutt Morgan

02/03/18